Adventures of Elderly Man
Topic: Writing Fiction
What the heck do you do with yourself all day? The adventures of elderly-man

If you're retired, you've heard this question a dozen times. I
Sometimes wonder the opposite, what did I do before I retired.
Since retirement, wonderful new worlds have opened up for me,
Almost like a renaissance of a sort. My wife and I, separately or together
Seem to need more time each day to do whatever it is we do.
Of one thing I'm certain, each day brings that feeling I used to
Get when I had a snow day off from school, unexpected freedom
From worry and stress, at least for another day. Except in retirement
It is every day. How many times during your working life, did you
Look outside and see the snow piling up or the rain coming down so
Hard you knew you'd drown in it, and you wished you could just put
On another cup of coffee or tea and open a book and settle in and
Ignore the outside. Well we do have that freedom, and the feeling
Is exactly the same, wonderful unscheduled time to go where ever
Your heart and mind leads you.

What you have read above is exactly the way it should be. You have worked hard and earned your time for relaxation, travel, or whatever you most enjoy. It is not the time to be taken advantage of. If you and/or your spouse have a problem you cannot handle because of your age, contact me, elderly-man and I will set it right and I will enjoy doing it. I can be contacted at the following number. When life no longer seems fair, contact Elderly-Man and he will make the difference.

Till then,

Elderly-man stands ready to fight all foes, right any wrongs,

"What the devil are you doing Bruce?" Her brittle voice jolted him back to reality. "I thought I told you to take the garbage out; it's starting to stink, and when you get done with that I've got something else for you to do," exclaimed Helga, exasperated once again at having Bruce under her feet all day now since he retired and losing patience with his ineptness at almost everything he has tried since then.

Well, in real life I'm not exactly your everyday superhero, but in my mind I could live a different life, Bruce thought. For example, just yesterday as I was running an errand to the supermarket, I witnessed a bus driver berating an elderly woman about being too slow to exit his bus. I morphed from Bruce into elderly-man and presented myself at the bus door. As I stood there looking in, the driver in his most bully-loud voice asked if I was sightseeing or was I getting on, I was holding up his schedule. In my greatest duke/clint walk, I entered his bus, and to the drivers great surprise and subsequent fear, lifted him out of his seat by the lapels of his jacket, and proceeded to educate him about the etiquette required from him from this point on to all senior citizens. Further, if I got any report of his belligerent talk, and impolite attitudes, he would be eternally sorry. Of course, he cringed like a beaten dog and acknowledged his wicked ways and promised to correct them. I smiled the smile of righteousness and thought it would be nice and proper if he stood and apologized to all his passengers for his misdeeds, which of course he did. The folks on the bus gave him the look that promised if he did not change they would again contact elderly-man and he would be forever sorry. Then they all stood, smiling and applauded him for his good work. Elderly-man puffed out his chest, smiled the smile of right and good, gave them a wave and off he went, another bad mannered ruffian set right.

"Well," she shouted, "are you going to do what I asked or do I have to do everything around here? You're such a wuss."

Oh if she only knew, he thought, and he smiled that elderly-man smile.

Seasons

This is one of the nicest autumns we have had here in our neck of the woods for many a year. It started early and has been putting on a glorious show of color every day. The trees are now dropping their leaves as autumn wind gusts blow through. Bordering our driveway are several trees, maples, a magnolia, and a red japanese maple. As we were leaving today for a shopping run we noticed the driveway looks like a mosaic painting. Fallen yellow leaves, turns to red leaves, back to yellow again, a true portrait of nature. Of course they will have to go, but not for a while.

The picture above is from a little walking expedition Hazel and I went on a couple days ago. The photos are courtesy of her. I would like to put all of them up, but with a digital camera she can and does take massive amounts of snaps, so it's choose the one that best expresses the moment.

The election is finally coming to an end.
I have been away from the blog for a while. Even old guys who are retired from the daily grind of making money like to get away from anything that smacks of a duty. But now I am back to comment on, what else, the election. I am sure most of us made up our minds long ago who we would vote for. I did after the debates, but it is a daunting experience having to listen to these two guys snipe back and forth. Nobody is listening anymore except the undecideds, that small group who will most certainly decide the election. Kazillions of dollars have been wasted by these guys in stating that only they have the answers to all that ails us. They carp and they snipe and spout hate at each other until I cannot stand much more. It would never stop if the election process went on for years. These guys are so diametrical opposites politically they cannot agree that blue is blue. Bush believes that no government at all is the best government and Kerry believes government is necessary to make life more equitable for all the citizens. They will never agree that there is a middle ground there somewhere. Until politicians come along that believe that's the case, times will get rougher and we will become more polorized, left and right. I hope I live long enough to see the left, and right come together somewhere closer to the middle. Until then please get out and vote and hope it get's completed in one day.

old guy and the missus walking around the farm.
Attended a festival today at the farm of a once famous deceased author. The author was Louis Bromfield and his farm was called Malabar. He sold many books in his day and led the high life most of that time. Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall were married there. The state took over the farm at his death and kept it up as a semi-working farm. Once a year they have Heritage Days for two days. They have many impersonators playing roles of personalities through our states history such as Indians, civil war soldiers, encampments, apple butter making, and lots of stuff. Not exactly your New York nightlife kind of stuff but it's just the right style for old guys, a little walking around listening to old time music, drinking a little cider, walking around some more, drinking some coffee, eating donuts...you get the idea.

Now Playing: MP3
Topic: Books and Electronics
Another marvel I have started to take advantage of is the ability to jam a mob of data on a CD, using MP3 format. It was created I am sure by some eighteen year old kid. And how that is done, I haven't the slightest idea but what it does is fantastic. I like OTR (old time radio) programs and I can download them from various sites around the internet, and that is great, a normal CD will hold two thirty minute programs, maybe the Lone Ranger and an episode of Inner Sanctum. But I have discovered that using MP3 they can put approx. fifty hours of programs on one CD. Now you have to own a player that will read MP3. You can buy some walkmen that have MP3 abilities or various other devices. I have purchased a Panasonic boombox type affair that will read them. The reason I did that instead of going the walkman route is so my wife and I can listen to some shows together and not have to wear earphones that sometimes hurt the head after a while. Now the last but almost the greatest thing is I can order from OTR sites MP3 CD's with shows of my choice, of about fifty hours duration, for five bucks a piece. That is great I think.

Topic: Observations of a old guy
Today I could put it off no longer. I had to mow the lawn. When September rolls around all the bloom of having the nicest lawn in creation has long ago worn off. Now it is just plain work, sweat, and aches if you are an old geek as yours truly is. Luckily the growth of the grass has slowed down somewhat and I don't or maybe I should say won't cut it once a week. I remember back to when I was a boy and we used push mowers. My God how hard that must have been, although I don't remember it as so. There were no power mowers yet, so we had nothing to compare it to. I don't remember if we cut it less frequently, but I doubt it because the longer it is the harder it would have been and that has not changed. But now I am done for another week or so depending on the growth this time of year. When you become a geek you always have a couple Aleeves handy. But in the final analysis I am just glad I still can do it. I will just reserve my right to moan and groan about it afterwards. It's an old guys right.

A harbinger of fall landed on the blue table where
only, it seemed, a few moments before I sipped
iced teas and tried unsuccessfully to hide from the
summers sun.
Rain and distinct breezes seemed to ruffle the trees
in a display of meteorological mischief, yet the feelings
of a new season about to launch itself is in the air,
so I sit here looking at the leaf snatched from its
moorings above and muse about ridiculous things.

A Life Lesson Learned Early
Topic: Observations of a old guy
A life lesson learned early: When I was young, really young, between ten and fourteen
I loved to play baseball. Unlike today when parents schedule their children's playtime and drive them there in the SUV, we, the kids of that day, were pretty much on our own. We scouted our own locations for the games, usually as in my case, a vacant lot. We had no uniforms, although if my memory serves me, I remember one time gluing a piece of rubber with cleats on the bottom of my sneakers. As an aside, sneakers were not sneakers in those days, they were tennis shoes, and all of them were high tops, and not white but black usually. When we advanced to organized baseball, the midget and then the junior league, we were provided with tee shirts with the sponsors name attached on the back with felt letters. I never advanced to the junior league and here is my lesson. I learned that I was not going to be the best ballplayer, but I could enjoy it like I was. I was able to lower my expectations to a realistic level for me, and enjoyed what I could do to the maximum. Through life I knew that I was not the best or the smartest, which is o.k. most of us aren't, so I had very little disappointment and was able to enjoy what I achieved all through life. Don't be devastated if you are not the best in everything you try, try to achieve a balance between expectations and reality and life will be one of happiness and joy.

Posted by jim2jak at 11:38 AM EDT

Updated: Saturday, 11 September 2004 9:16 AM EDT

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